Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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