i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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