But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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