Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
