that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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