I CAN MOONWALK!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
