I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
vagina is talking i cant
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
