worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
