just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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