I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a beard to bite.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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