my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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