I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
