It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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