You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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