Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
