I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
