I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
