I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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