Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
