My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
