I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
