Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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