so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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