Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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