I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
