I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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