4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize