I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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