The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
