dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
