Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
