Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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