How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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