I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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