She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
