he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
