quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
