she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
