He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
