a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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