ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
