you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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