Porn is love you can see.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
