office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
