Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
