I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
