I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
