Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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