i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize