was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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