it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
