please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
