I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
