I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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