How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
