everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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