She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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