Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
