I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
