Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
