He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
