we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
